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Seuss book, How the Grinch Stole Christmas. When he discovered the meaning of Christmas his heart grew three sizes. I think it was three. Right then, my heart grew four."I was just thinking," I said as we cuddled. "If we get married for fifty years, we can do this about eighteen thousand times." Eighteen thousand two hundred and fifty," Tami corrected. "I don't want to miss a day." Well, if you want to get technical, eighteen thousand two hundred and sixty-three." Sixty-three?" Leap years."Tami laughed. "Okay, Mr. Math Whiz, but I want a hell of a lot more than fifty years." That's just the start, babe. Just the start."By ten o'clock we were on the road heading south. Mikee drove as we tooled down California-1. She was getting a lot more confident behind the wheel. I wondered if Mom and Dad would thank me for that or want to kick me in the ass.We had lunch at an all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet in Oakland, then took the ferry to our new home, Angel Island State Park, right in the. Girls have a way of leading a guy astray if you let them.Dad also talked to us about sexual diseases and safe sex. He had broughtwith him a couple of packs of condoms for us to look at and get acquaintedwith. "Your penises are getting pretty big now. You can try them on tosee how they feel."Sam said, "Do you use condoms, dad?" Well, son, before I got married, I always used them when I was fucking. Alot of the guys at school never used them, and they were taking an awfulchance. There were posters posted all over campus saying in big letters,'THINK AHEAD! WRAP THAT RASCAL!' And after I got married, I never usedthem while we were trying to get your mom pregnant. And then I startedusing them again after you were born up until a couple of years ago. Yourmom has now gone through her menapause, and they're no longer necessary. Inever liked to wear condoms, but we wanted to stop having c***dren afteryou two wonderful guys came along. When I stopped using a condom, though,I had.
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